I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
Randomize
