I'm drinking in the hospital parking lot.
did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
Why do I have a separate credit card just for booze? Because I saved enough points so Saturday we are flying to Denver to smoke legal weed and fly back in the same day.
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
Randomize
