i just made my gag reflex go away.
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
my mom told me that she didn't count me in the census because im a waste of life anyway.
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
This hobo said he can't buy alcohol bc he got in trouble bc a girl sat on his face when he was passed out and misaligned his spine and gave him Alzheimer's so Ali is buying him a bottle. This is Vegas.
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
Came home plastered at 8am. Roommate had hot glued all the ashtrays and various items to their surfaces. Couldn't handle it. Went back to the bar.
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
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