and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
the family i'm sitting with looks like the Addams family. Except for the daughter...she looks like Shrek
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
Keep him.
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
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