Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
Yeah well I used to see how many bud lights I could slam down during the pledge of allegiance, my record was 4, but I could do better now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
Some drunk guy thought my knee scooter was the sexiest thing he's ever seen. He then proceeded to ask me about duck hunting and decoys...
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were wearing a cookie monster onesie and telling everyone you were actually the sausage monster..
On the bright side I still got laid
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
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