if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
It's going to be nice going to the airport without drugs taped to my balls like last year.
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
Three Decembers later, I'm looking at this fuckin Santa lingerie I bought and just realized my stocking never got stuffed....
I love waking up to reeses ice cream. But I DONT love waking up to it all over my cat. I blame you.
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