his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
we made out on top of his cat.
We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
It's a beautiful day for a hangover
I woke up and went to my kitchen naked and decided I wanted a fruit cup. Ate said fruit cup. Look over and notice my male neighbor is staring at me
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
Out of ice. Vodka+club soda+cut up lime popscicle=I'm an alcoholic genius.
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
I'm going to die alone in a sea of empty vodka bottles and cats.
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
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