Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
Just had the best idea EVER: start a mead brewing/dispensery business! WE CAN BREW IT IN MY GIANT CLOSET, AND NEVER BE SOBER AGAIN.
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
I'm shotgunning a 12 pack at a bus stop. This is why we pay the rent with an auto withdrawal at the beginning of the month
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
Fuck this. I'm adopting 12 cats and naming them after the 12 disciples. Maybe Jesus will have sympathy for me then.
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
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