when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I swear it's like I have a jerk off quota I have to meet each week. If I miss three days I have a wet dream and it's like a wasted jizz, and it gets everywhereeeeeee.
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
Randomize