What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it.
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
We lost a condom inside me, I had to fish it out. The next day he gave me a Gone Fishin' bumper sticker. True love at its finest.
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
Randomize
