I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
I think i sorta joined a cult last night
Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
Just pulled my keys, cell-phone and a pack of cigarettes out from between my cleavage. This one guy's face was priceless.
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
Still dying that you shit outside
Weird thing is that's not the first time I've been felt up by a Santa. Happens every year
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
Let's say we can see the evolution of our "relation" by his name in my phone. Pizza slice emoticone. Pizza guy. Jordan. Jo. Jackhammer Pizza Guy. Jockhammer pizza guy.
Randomize
