Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
i just had to wipe vomit off my fone to text you. yeah that hungover.
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Now they're talking about doing whiskey shots since they're flipping the turkey over. You might need to drive me home.
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hiding the dark circles under my eyes this morning was like trying to hide a Beached Whale on the Couch eating Pita chips.
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
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