he thought i was a dude.
you got in your car and made the sounds of a NASCAR, then called me on your phone and I was your pit crew. then you apparently you won the race, and THAT'S when you tried to backflip off the top of your car.
he just payed for our date, after telling him I was leaving early to meet my fuck buddy. is there something lower than friendzone I can stick this guy in?
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
my mom just asked me why she found a half-eaten burrito in the hamper
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
Peru was great. He sent me a text after thanking me for my amazing morals which confused me but made me oddly proud...then he texted a correction. He meant my amazing oral. Sadly this Made me prouder. Fuck u bitches and ur morally inhibiting gag reflexes.
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