So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
you go from almost hooking up with the hottest guy at the party, to going home with your ex....how is that even mathematically possible
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
I passed up getting laid last night. It's almost been a YEAR - what the Hell was I thinking, being so choosy??
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
Randomize
