maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
Yea i think drunk-me kept all my bar receipts, just to throw it in sober-me's face.
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
"This is Emily. She likes potatoes. And sometimes laughs and cries at the same time, and has a wonderful butt"
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
i literally have the attention span of a weasel on steroids, but yeah, i know who you’re talking about.
Randomize
