Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
Just yelled out loud for someone to buy me a drink, 30 seconds later random guy on grindr asks what I'm drinking.
There's a 98% chance your drink will taste like rohypnol
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
I've realized that my life is a cycle of high that is only broken by sobering up at work, which only happens because I can't smoke more
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