Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
Are my feet made of real feet?
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
We've completely outdone ourselves. We packaged a collective total of six grams of pot and salvia into little bowl-sized tinfoil capsules. It's totally impossible to tell which is which without comparing, every Friday from now on we pick one out and see what the fuck happens
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering
For future reference, when he drunkenly screams "YOUR MOTHER SUCKS COCKS IN HELL," he means that he's about to throw up. Invest in a bucket.
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
Randomize
