i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
Gonna post on craigs list missed connections - "I was that really drunk bitch that threw up in your car. I'd like to pay for detailing"
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
My snow day: told Cam, "we're not dating today, we're just roommates." No bra, boxers, drinking whiskey by myself for the past 2 hours, yelling at The Ultimate Fighter reruns from 3 years ago.
I'm listening to Michael Jackson while drinking vodka, alone. Honestly, l wish I could Moonwalk my way back to when I knew wtf was going on in my life.
The only words we could get out of him as he stared catatonically into space were "Everyone I know and love is dead"
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
Randomize
