At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
dude i've broken up a marriage, I think I can handle a simple engagement.
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
I'm pretty sure the guy who was grinding on me while I was trying to get a drink at he bar was one of my tinder matches
I'm sorry I keep drunk texting your boyfriend sports updates.
That's okay. He needs friends too.
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
It's not my fault I make her feel like a Taylor Swift album
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
Come on in and take your pants off
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