Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
just took my abortion antibiotic with my martini. i no longer wonder how i got into this situation.
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
Throwing up into Nora's potty chair while simultaneously having beer shits was truly the highlight of my Christmas season.
We need to feng shui this bitch.
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
Randomize
