all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
Dude. Photoshop a Santa hat on your mug shot and send it as your Christmas cards.
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
I just tried to pass the bowl to my dog for 2 minutes before I remembered she isn't human. It is 7:27 am.
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
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