...so i touched it.
My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
Matt is in the hospital again. the night nurse text me asking not to bring the boombox again. is it sad or awesome that they are starting to know us?
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
Randomize
