I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
now that you've tased me I refuse to buy you flowers
I did too many shots and now a kitten is trying to eat my bagel.
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
Thanks for getting me stoned. My manager started quizzing me about the menu and I struggled until he asked me to describe the tortilla soup. I said "tasty"
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
Why do I have a wristband from the birthing center at the University of Maryland hospital....
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
Randomize
