hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
I woke up to 30 angry texts and her Chihuahua in my room. Can you drop him off for me?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
You know you're getting old when you pick up hot sorority girls at the bar, and they write down their phone number, and under it 'we're great babysitters!'
Randomize