no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
The fact that I can sew my leggings while intoxicated proves I'm a functioning alcoholic
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
Today's hangover is brought to us by Sailor Jerry's and your dedication to my alcoholism.
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
I hate closet cases. I've been wooing this chick the entire quarantine. We finally meet up tonight, we're two drinks in, I've got my hand half way up her skirt and her husband calls. She promised to bring home dinner.
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