your thong is hanging out like whoa
So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
He came so hard he burst a blood vessel in his eye. Do I have to take him to the ER? because I'm too tired for this shit.
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
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