she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
I swear to God, if you drunkenly correct my grammar one more time, I'm cutting you off.
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
she walked up to me at the bar, kissed me, andthen declared "I HAVEN'T SEEN YOU OR YOUR PENIS SINCE 2011."
Randomize
