You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
sleeping like a two year old who chased ambien with a bottle of whiskey.
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
He asked when the last time I had sex was. I had to look at the clock and respond "12 hours ago"
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
How are you feeling today?
Like Satan handed me a grenade and ass sandwich.
And, by “make you dinner” I mean “have lots of sex and multiple orgasms.” So you should probably eat something and before you come over
And hydrate too
Randomize