i'm in hospital, i have an exam in 3 hours and the man in the cubicle next to me is doing a noisy poo. this has to get better.
I woke up this morning with a bag of pepperonis in my bed.... and my facebook status was "pepperonis"
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
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