I have to look really hot tonight because my personality is going to suck.
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
Tonight, a friend walked in and said "oh look at that. Drunk on the living room floor. Just as expected." this is my life. This is my life.
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
You were telling everyone in the bar that Jess gave you scurvy.
Randomize
