'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
I'm looking forward to the release of my future best seller - "Three Words to Make Your Relationship 100% Better: Surprise Blow Jobs"
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
She took all the bottles out of the shower caddy and replaced them with booze. I just made a shower Manhatten. Imma marry this one.
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
Randomize
