Whats the glycemic index on semen?
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
The fact that my boss lets me drink on my lunch break makes Mondays much easier.
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
Randomize
