Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
Shit, my parents are coming over and I just realized that a grinder is not an acceptable paperweight
Netflix keeps asking me if I'm still watching just because I've been sitting here all afternoon...why do I feel like my tv is judging my life choices?
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
I got the shit slapped outta me last night but the pain in my jaw doesn’t even compare to the hangover I have.
Randomize
