Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
I literally paid him in shots to clean my entire apartment. he even vacuumed...who said alcoholism is a bad thing??
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
Like, he's a nice guy. But he's better at fingering than he is at speaking.
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
Randomize
