just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
I'm done trying to be a vegetarian. My vagina smells like hummus.
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
Shit. We're going to have to drink until they're cute
Hello cirrhosis
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
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