Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
Green mimosas i think yes
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
So I got lost trying to find you guys and ended up proposing to a bride in a bachelorette party with a condom.
So I've discovered that being hungover at 25 feels the same as being hungover at 24. Happy Birthday to me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My ass is underappreciated
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
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