Texts From Last Night

• Favorite

  (414): View more from Wisconsin

  dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.

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  (414): dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian. http://tfl.nu/yfk0
  Replies (17) Good night (4404) Bad night (716)
• Favorite

  (321): View more from Florida Space Coast

  right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!

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  (321): right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!! http://tfl.nu/ghmc
  Replies (32) Good night (6235) Bad night (1666)
• Favorite

  (617): View more from Massachusetts

  I would explain the ketchup stains in the bed to him but saying I just got my period is so much less embarrassing...

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  (617): I would explain the ketchup stains in the bed to him but saying I just got my period is so much less embarrassing... http://tfl.nu/p474
  Replies (21) Good night (1350) Bad night (5087)
• Favorite

  (505): View more from New Mexico

  she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes

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  (505): she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes http://tfl.nu/9qtj
  Replies (10) Good night (4696) Bad night (1196)
• Favorite

  (540): View more from Virginia

  i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing

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  (540): i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing http://tfl.nu/o77s
  Replies (18) Good night (2725) Bad night (1605)
• Favorite

  (913): View more from Kansas

  Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.

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  (913): Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry. http://tfl.nu/f12g
  Replies (1) Good night (2236) Bad night (755)
• Favorite

  (617): View more from Massachusetts

  she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.

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  (617): she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something. http://tfl.nu/1xv3
  Replies (17) Good night (1064) Bad night (3673)
• Favorite

  (612): View more from Minnesota

  i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.

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  (612): i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese. http://tfl.nu/swul
  Replies (4) Good night (1786) Bad night (656)
• Favorite

  (630): View more from Illinois

  Best surprise in my car. A cookie, sliced kiwi and the rest of my margarita. Work is going to be awesome.

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  (630): Best surprise in my car. A cookie, sliced kiwi and the rest of my margarita. Work is going to be awesome. http://tfl.nu/a2zp
  Replies (2) Good night (1427) Bad night (623)
• Favorite

  (774): View more from Massachusetts

  I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.

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  (774): I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands. http://tfl.nu/r3el
  Replies (2) Good night (768) Bad night (584)
• Favorite

  (208): View more from Idaho

  Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.

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  (208): Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind. http://tfl.nu/wqhb
  Replies (4) Good night (1123) Bad night (522)
• Favorite

  (518): View more from New York

  Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.

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  (518): Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try. http://tfl.nu/4xiu
  Replies (2) Good night (861) Bad night (438)
• Favorite

  (206): View more from Washington

  I did my walk of shame through a safeway at 8am to get YOUR hangover bagels. You're welcome asshole

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  (206): I did my walk of shame through a safeway at 8am to get YOUR hangover bagels. You're welcome asshole http://tfl.nu/tvcl
  Replies (2) Good night (777) Bad night (402)
• Favorite

  (478): View more from Georgia

  I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick

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  (478): I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick http://tfl.nu/ahbd
  Replies (1) Good night (421) Bad night (587)
• Favorite

  (443): View more from Maryland

  And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.

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  (443): And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed. http://tfl.nu/9n1v
  Replies (3) Good night (670) Bad night (307)

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