that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
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Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
He insisted that I looked like Kiefer Sutherland, told me he didn't know what to do about it, then hugged me awkwardly.
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
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Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?