after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
Just 30 Funny Tumblr Posts About Starbucks
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
18 People Are Kind Of A**holes But Also Completely Hilarious
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
Grandpa just put 6 jello shots on his plate. My aunt tried to take them away; he flipped her off. Living in the retirement home has hardened him.
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.