Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
These 29 Nasty People Went To The Bathroom In Public
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
19 People Who Had An Inappropriate Celebrity Encounter
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
It's 9:07 in the morning and I am so hungover right now I'm about to take the kids I'm babysitting to mf'ing Popeyes bc that's all I want in this world
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.