i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
My drug dealer just asked me to go see Les Mis on Christmas. Should I be worried this is some type of musical set-up?
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
21 People Reveal The Most Embarrassing Secrets They Know About Someone
What I thought was my travel sanitizer was actually my travel lube. Most awkward transit ride of all time!
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.