I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
I woke up face first on my living room floor arms outstretched toward the christmas tree
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
She was mad I came so fast. I was like, It's the Olympics! Fastest time wins! We can train you in the offseason.
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
Randomize
