I just ate a cockroach and I want to be a fire truck.
so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
Randomize
