im watching my roommate bang this girl. she doesn't look like she's any good, because he has a bored look on his face...
you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
she chugged a bowl of salsa and then gave my ferret weight loss tips. she's like my fucking spirit animal now
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
I am walking funny today. And it's sad because it's from the bad encounter with the sidewalk rather than a good encounter with a stripper
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
