I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
He fell and asked for a beer and a band-aid.
HE GOT FOURTEEN STICHES
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
Randomize
