i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
I accidentally threw away from slim jim and some lady saw me dig it out of the garbage. It was unopened but still, I look so homeless.
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
i called him pencil dick in front of over half of his fraternity brothers...
...never gotten so many high fives in my life! fuck ya i win!
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
I'm actually on the verge of cancelling a booty call because I have an early meeting tomorrow. If this is what adulthood is going to be like, I'll pass.
Randomize