Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
he pissed his pants, and she still wants to hook me up with him. I try not to date guys with bladder control problems... Unless they're loaded anyway.
At a straight bar and poker face just came on...must...resist....urge to gay it up
Why would that come on at a straight bar? I thought they just played Don't Stop Believin and Wonderwall on repeat
I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
I was so drunk last night that I went into my 15 year old sisters room to have her peer edit the drunk texts I was sending to my ex.
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
Randomize
