Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
My drug dealer just asked me to go see Les Mis on Christmas. Should I be worried this is some type of musical set-up?
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
I just had to go dumpster diving, at 3am, in the rain, because I realized that I somehow threw away the brand new package of birth control pills I picked up from the pharmacy this afternoon. So I'm sort of a responsible adult.
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
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