I think I just was a dick to Paul Rudd.
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
i had a flashback to you roaring like a dying tiger and then throwing your wallet (maybe?) at the cat in the living room and saying "you're the only adult that lives here take all my money"
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
Dude, fuck these noisy kids, fuck all this light, and fuck you for getting to sleep while I have to be productive and hungover.
Thanks to you I can't show my boobs tomorrow for the interview.
You came in wearing a whipped cream bikini what did you think would happen
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
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