I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
Randomize
