that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
i just saw a guiness commercial where the guiness was on the verge of spilling the whole time. i was on the edge of my seat scared shitless. im an alcoholic.
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sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
Bad news: I found out that girl you want has a boyfriend. Good news: she'll probably cheat on him with you. Better news: after seeing the way she treats him, that's the most interaction you're going to want with her anyway. Trust me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He set two of my ex boyfriends on fire at two different bars without anyone knowing it was him or how it happened either time. He might be a fucking super hero
I mean, they were small fires and no one got hurt, but still. Awesome.
Operation "Inform her family she stars in a sadistic lesbian porn film" is in full effect. She picked the wrong guy to cheat on.
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window.
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
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