I can't believe the cop was so cool about the whole thing, I mean, I had man mayo all over my jeans.
I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
Emoji's do wonders when you actually have nothing at all to say..
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
Randomize
