You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
She kept giving the uber driving directions and we all thought they were wrong so we'd send him the other way. Turns out she wasn't guiding us home, but to the half gallon that she hid in the bushes on the way to the bar.
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
Sorry I steam cleaned at 1:30 in the morning and that i'm such a drunk dumb child. On the bright side, my carpet has ever looked better.
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