Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
Nothing is creepier than a guy telling you "I was just thinking about you" in a men's bathroom when taking a shit
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
Girl behind me in line at CVS was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan B soon she might be a mom and that if we couldn't tell she'd be a horrible mom
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