problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
Measuring your booze intake in glasses is like measuring Rosie O'Donnell's weight in ounces.
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
Strip clubs it is bday boy. One condition. I am in full custody of your ID. I plan on being in no condition to coordinate rescue operations and we need to keep casualties to a minimum. You cannot be trusted.
Alright goddamnit. Can I bring my pirate hat?
I insist.
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
Randomize
