Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
She is a social worker. An actual good person trying to save the world. I feel like every time I give her an orgasm God wipes a little smudge off of my shit list.
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
So I figured out why that guy from Tinder stopped messaging me back. He got married.
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
Randomize
