that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
I come back upstairs and she's leaning over sink full of vomit saying 'oh my god it's the chili'
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
I didn’t want a minivan, but I have to admit it’s made it a lot easier to hook up with the dilfs at soccer tournaments
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