so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
i would totally switch to progressive if they'd let me bang that girl in the commercial.
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
Dude. Where are you? There's a hot chick drunkenly dancing on the bar and aggressively taking shots to Pink songs. She looks like she needs a rebound. Get. Here. Now.
FUCK NYC TRAFFIC.
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
Listen, if I miss the flight to Vegas because she's still rimming my ass, it will have been worth it.
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
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